Groups Discussion Guide
Read Scripture. Go Deeper. Ask Questions. Take Action.
Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets
Scripture
23Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Main Idea
Usually the leading trait we look to when finding someone to date is how they look. There now is a whole market in the economy based on finding a "soul mate". The interesting thing about that is these algorithms are based on what you put into them. You enter a bunch of data and then you can scroll to your heart's content to find someone you think may be interesting to be around. For Christ followers, we need to look deeper than what you can find on a dating site. When dating, it is important to keep your criteria focused on what the Bible tells us for being in relationships with people. You are looking for someone to create a life with and succeed in all future challenges with and that means understanding if that person can be trusted with your life.
You don't need to get better at dating, you need to get better at decisions.
Discussion Questions
- What do you look for in order to determine if the person you are attracted to is a Christ follower? Are you just attracted to their looks or are you attracted to their fruits of the Spirit?
- Who in your circle of close friends or family members can you talk to about honestly evaluating the character of someone? Have you ever not listened to counsel and later regretted it?
- If you were to make a list of things you would want in a friend or spouse, what would be your top 5? Why?
- How can you tell if someone drains the people around them or if they make people better?
Summary
Dating in 2026 can be really difficult. You have to be vulnerable and reach out to strangers in hope they return the favor. With this difficulty, we have see a rise in dating sites and using algorithms to help people find "the right one". Unfortunately, an algorithm can't really tell you who is the most Christ like person on the website even on Christian mingle! There are some good questions to help you with your search for the right person to share your life with and these questions can also be really helpful when considering your friendships.
For fun though, how did farmers find a girl before farmers.com? "A Tractor"! Get it? Attract her??
Serious questions to help you find others worth getting to know in your relationships.
- Is this built on Christ or Chemistry?
- 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV tells us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If you put a yoke on two oxen that are not the same strength or going in the same direction then you can end up going in a circle. Be joined with someone who will help you go in the right direction of Jesus.
- Am I watching warnings or chasing trouble?
- In Proverbs 27:12 NCV tells us the wise look for danger or warning signs and then turn away from it. Is this person just love bombing you and then treating you unfairly later on? Are your friends and family all telling you they might not be the best person? One event can be an anomaly but multiple events start to create a trend. Be on the lookout for warning signs.
- Do I see their patterns or only their potential?
- Look for patterns in behavior to let you know if they are serious about becoming a better person and treating you in line with your requests. Everyone loves to make a difference in other people's lives but a marriage is not about making that person your project but rather for you both to love and grow closer to Jesus.
- Do they bring strength or take energy?
- Deut 30:19 NIV tells us we have the option between choosing life or death. Choose someone who is giving life to you and to others. Watch how others interact with the person you are interested in. Do they encourage, love, and give life to them or do they speak words of condemnation, discouragement, and point out everyone's flaws?
Relationships will create the life you want or the life you hate. Take a look around you and see who your friends and loved ones are. They are the easiest indication for where you will be in the future.
Take Action
- Examine the relationships you currently have and ask yourself these four questions about them.
- Based on your answers to the questions, determine if you want to invest more into those relationships or consider making new ones.
Announcements
- First Wednesday - 02/04/2026 at 7pm
